Seven o'clock snow

I took Anna outside to play in the snow this evening after dinner. Brent took her out last night while I stayed warm inside with Emily. I watched them from the window and they had so much fun. Anna loved the snow. We haven't had much snow this winter and this was the first she really got out to play. So tonight it was my turn. Anna and I bundled up and we went outside. And it was so good for my soul.

Anna found joy in winter weather. She liked walking in the snow, crunching her boots on the icy parts, brushing snow from the top of bushes. She played with her mini shovel and asked for her mini rake from spring time. We imagined we were looking for animals in the snow and found a cow and a snake. We threw snow balls at each other. We made snow angels. I haven't made a snow angel in years. We threw snow up in the air and watched it fall down around us. Anna said the snow tasted like sugar. I even tasted it, too. I pulled her around in the sled and we laughed.

I really laughed. Really laughed. One of those. A lot of those, actually. We laughed a lot. I felt free and child-like. It was awesome.

We made snow angels two times. The first time, Anna went first and I watched. I lifted her from her from the snow and we looked (I marveled) at her perfect little tiny snow angel impression left in the front yard. Then it was my turn. I was lying there in the snow, it felt cold and exhilarating and again I felt like a child. And I thought of my brother. For that brief moment, in between the chatter of a three year old, I was on my back in the snow looking at the dark night sky thinking of Scott. I looked up at the sky and said to myself, "I miss you". And "I wonder if you're up there". Is heaven really in the sky? It's kind of weird that I think that it is, like it's a place above me and Scott may be looking down at me. I guess that's an okay way to think. In that moment, I hoped he was looking at me while I made a snow angel, while I thought of him, while Anna stood at my side. And then back to reality, back to Anna and shovels and rakes and pretend animals in the snow.

The second time, Anna and I made snow angels together. We were next to each other and we watched the moon peek in and out of the clouds in the sky. Instead of thinking of Scott this time, I thought of Anna. And hoped she wouldn't be frightened by the slightly eery display of the moon disappearing in the dark clouds. To distract her a bit, we shouted out "Hi Moon!". She liked that.

I thought to get a picture of our snow angels, but I didn't want to go back inside to get the camera. And then I ran her around the yard in the sled leaving only sled tracks and foot prints. As it should be. I took a picture instead of our boots once we got inside. Sometimes the memory is best kept in my mind and I will hold the image of our mother and daughter snow angels close.

As I was putting away the sled and while Anna filled a little bucket up with snow to show Emily, I thought of my mom. And wished she could have been there to share that moment. To feel free and really laugh. It felt so good and I realized I had not felt like that in a long time. And I wanted that for my mom.

I will remember this evening in the snow. Precious moments shared with Anna and with my memories. Mixed emotions as sister, mother, and daughter. But mostly, I felt happy. There is hope for more moments like this one.

Sleep, or lack thereof

Sleep. I'm lacking in the sleep department. Plain and simple, I do not get enough sleep. I really did try to remove the dark circles under my eyes with make-up remover (refer last post), only to sadly discover there was no make-up there at all and that I really do look that tired. Three of us are at fault for my tiredness: Emily, Anna, and myself. Not usually all at once, but I'm always a part of the equation. Emily gets me up at least twice a night. Anna will sometimes wake me once a night, usually just to ask if it is morning (no, it isn't). And I don't go to bed early enough to make up for any lost sleep. That's my fault, but I can't help it. There is always some chore left to be done after bedtime or something to watch on TV or Facebook to check. Or blogs to write. Brent and my mom always tell me to "go to bed!". But I can't seem to make myself go to bed early and sacrifice maybe the couple of hours of quiet in the evening after bedtime and before the middle of the night wake-me-up time. It's like limbo. The calm after the storm and the calm before the storm. And it's my time, even though I'm tired and worn out and could easily fall asleep in a matter of 25 seconds.

Our babies are cute ones, but they are not good sleepers. Anna didn't sleep well as a baby and neither does Emily. She is up at least two times during the night still. At least she doesn't scream herself to sleep anymore, we are thankfully past that awful stage. I really hate that stage. Just ask Brent. Now Emily often begs for 8:00 bedtime, all tired out from the day and ready to nurse into a quiet, cozy sleep. But then it never fails, the baby monitor will light up with her cries around midnight. And then again around 4am. I stumble to her room, she nurses, and back to sleep. Sometimes back to sleep is easier than others, since she sometimes thinks 4am seems like a fine play time. I convince her otherwise. Some parents probably would say to let her cry it out and to stop night time nursing. Sometimes I do let her cry in the middle of the night if she wakes shortly after a feeding and I know she doesn't really need anything. But I have a hard time not going to her the other times when I know she needs me. A lot of parenting books would likely tell me I'm wrong, but I don't seek their opinion. I did it with Anna and I'm doing it with Emily - I do what feels right at this moment. Maybe me getting up from my bed twice a night isn't exactly "right" (hint, scary under eye dark circles), but it's right for Emily. She is a baby after all and one night, just like Anna did, she will surprise me and only get me up once. And then she won't get me up at all. Until she turns three and calls me in the middle of the night to ask me if it is morning time ....

Anna. Bless her heart, she wakes up with the craziest morning hair sometimes. She sleeps well through the night most nights, a good 10 to 12 hours. But once in a while she will wake me. "Is it morning?" No. "Can I have some Rice Krispies?" Yes, for breakfast. In the morning! What is more challenging for Anna is getting ready for bed. Getting ready for bed drives me bananas. Just ask Brent. I told him just the other day that bedtime feels like herding sheep. Blind and deaf sheep. Anna is so good at stalling, finding all sorts of things she "needs" to do before brushing her teeth or going potty. And once finally in her bed, she finds more things to discuss. She's hungry, she's thirsty, she's hot, she's scared, she has a booger, she needs to go potty again, she can't sleep. But then she will settle down, sing songs in her bed and make my heart melt for her all over again.

And I huff and puff all the way to Emily's room, so annoyed that I am up once again in the middle of the night. And then I lift her from her crib, she is is warm and cozy and so grateful to see me. I forgive her. In the dim of her nightlight by the rocking chair, I look at her little face and see such beauty. And I forgive her again.

Sleep deprived and in love with these kids - I guess it's a good combination to get me through. Till then, I'll dream of 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. And drink a cup of Brent's coffee once in a while. And find some concealer for the dark circles under my eyes.

Sweet dreams.

Artsy Anna

I love Anna's artwork. I could save every single little piece of everything she colors, scribbles, or glues on. Here are some of the current masterpieces hanging around the house.

My ever creative mother-in-law helped Anna with the two larger paintings. The first is a picture of our house when it is snowing outside. They used balloon painting for the snowman and Anna chose and placed all the other pieces and parts. Anna and I made the winter hat together and she had so much fun picking out the felt and decorations.

We found this book at the library earlier this week. It is a cute story about a girl who can't wait for it to snow, so she makes paper snowflakes until the real snow comes. We read the book and made our own paper snowflakes that now hang in our front window.



Anna used a special pair of scissors (again thanks to my mother-in-law) that will help her learn scissor and cutting skills. She grips the handles and squeezes since it is too difficult still to use regular scissors. For the snowflakes, she made small snips in the paper and I helped her finish them into shapes.

Anna drew pictures of each of us in the family - all by herself. No prompting by me at all. I was actually playing with Emily while she drew and one by one, she proudly brought me each member of the family.

Daddy, Mommy, Anna, and Emily

We received this next craft as a freebie. All the pieces were there and we created a cute caterpillar. Anna loved it. We then wrote a little story about Crawly, as we named him. Anna made up the story and I wrote what she said. You can click on the picture to enlarge it to better read her story. Her imagination is so great!



Otherwise, all is well. Emily is great, still working on crawling and she is very pleased about the whole idea. Racquetball for Brent tonight with a friend. Quesadillas for dinner. Hopefully to bed early for me. I'm pretty tired from middle of the night wake-up calls. That can be a whole 'nother post. But I know it's getting bad because I tried to wipe away the dark circles under my eyes with make-up remover. Oh...well...there's no make-up there at all. Rats.

Silly Sisters

Today Anna discovered that it is very funny to put the kitchen strainer on Emily's head. Emily was a very good sport!

Emily on the move

Check out this video of Emily ... she is on the move! She is trying so hard to crawl and has successfully scooted forward a few times. My favorite part of this video is her little squeak near the end. She is so sweet! We are proud of our little Emi! 7 months old and scooting along. Growing by the minute!




Think back to 2009 and click this link to my June 8, 2009 post. It shows a similar video of Anna, then just over 8 months old doing some scooting of her own. Look how cute she was! Makes my heart go pitter-pat to watch videos of Anna as a baby. And now we get to watch Emily do so much of the same - so amazing. Double pitter-pat!

Can't believe my first baby is now 3 years old. And my second baby is already 7 months old. My goodness, time goes so quickly. It reminds me to soak up every single little moment with these two most wonderful little girls.

Teeth & Dirty Dishes

Teeth and dirty dishes ... two hot topics in the Hartsell home last week.

Emily now has four little teeth, two tops and two bottoms. Her toothy smile delights us!

She is putting her new teeth to work testing out biter biscuits in a mesh feeder. She's a pro and she likes the taste and likes to feed herself. Next she'll be asking for Cheerios.

Dirty dishes. Hate them. Hate washing dishes. And when our dishwasher broke last week, my hate grew stronger with each fork we had to wash. One of the finest inventions is the dishwasher, bless it's little machine heart for doing all of the dirty work and providing me with clean and sanitized dishes. I could have hugged the dishwasher fixer man after he replaced the motor, leaving us with a working machine and nary a bill thanks to the warranty!

This week the girls and I will keep busy by playing with friends, going to the library, and Anna's music class. It gets tricky balancing outings with Emily's nap schedule, as she naps once in the morning and again in the afternoon. Going out in the morning sometimes disrupts the first nap, but Emily often catches a short nap in the car and seems to make up for it with her afternoon nap. Anna enjoys her outings so much and it's important for us to go, so we'll do our best to work out the timing. We also signed Anna up for a parent/tot gymnastics class on Saturdays. Brent will take her, so this will be a special time for the two of them to spend together. We hope the tumbling and other skills they learn will increase Anna's physical confidence. She's just like her mother (me!) and is not overly coordinated. Sorry Anna, you got your Daddy's good looks but not his athleticism. Just ask my dad, when I was a kid I would rev up to kick the ball, give a good kick, miss the ball completely, and then hit it with the back of my foot on the way down. Ha!! I could never do a cartwheel correctly to save my soul. We'll start Anna with somersaults. And likely she'll outshine me, since she's got at least a little of Brent's talent in there somewhere (lets hope).

Now to go load the dishwasher...yahoo!!

New Year 2012

My last blog entry was 7 months ago and is titled "Any day now...". That was two days before Emily was born. Needless to say, blogging took a back seat to babies and busy days. And it's really quite a shame that it took me 7 months to log back on to blogger.com, open my beloved blog, and take the time to write again. Because back when I wrote "Any day now..." we were expecting a baby and it was Emily Grace. On June 1st she was born and I immediately loved the dark haired, rosy little girl they placed in my arms. I held her and my heart was hers from that very first moment. Brent said, "It's a girl!" And my first thought was, oh a sister for Anna! And we all fell in love. Emily has blessed our family and made us four. She fit right in.

Emily is a beautiful, cuddly, content, and charming little girl. She deserves a blog entry every day to describe her loveliness. What a task to capture 7 months in one blog entry. She has grown so fast, almost too fast, and has changed from a little sleeping baby to a happy, active, and laughing little girl. She sits up by herself to play and has recently developed a strong interest in moving. Our guess is she will be crawling by next month. She is strong and determined and already gets up on all fours and rocks back and forth, just waiting for her coordination to catch up and send her off with a crawl. She watches Anna and loves to play. Anna cheers for Emily's accomplishments and is eager for the next, though sharing toys is a sticky subject. :) Sisters they are, both adoring of each other. Brent and I look so forward to watching their bond grow stronger and to see their relationship grow as they do. They are quite different though, Anna and Emily. At least as babies they are different in some ways. Anna always and still is sensitive and emotional, where Emily seems a bit tougher in that way and doesn't so much mind when she falls over or when a toy is taken from her. Emily is often very content, while Anna was much harder to please as a baby. Anna was curious, but calmly curious, and handled things gently and didn't get into trouble. Emily is also curious, but much more so and isn't shy to grab, pull, and chew anything and everything that interests her. Brent and I foresee Emily getting herself into all kinds of mischief. What Anna and Emily do share is their sense of humor. My mom pointed this out, actually. And she is right. Both girls are easily amused, funny themselves, and full of beautiful happy smiles. Two giggly little girls to fill our hearts.

Today is the first day of the new year, January 1, 2012. One of my resolutions is to return to blogging. I enjoy it and I like to share our story. And I hope it will be something the girls will love to read when they are older. This blog, starting way back in 2008 when I was pregnant with Anna, holds memorable, dear stories of our family. Someday when the girls are older I hope they read our stories and feel the love we have for them ... these precious days of their baby and childhood. Brent and I are privileged to raise these two children. Anna Marie and Emily Grace, our little loves.

We just celebrated Christmas and it filled our kids with delight. Especially three year old Anna, who lived fully every moment of Christmas this year. We were lucky to spend the holiday with family - making a trip to South Bend to see much of our extended family and my parents came on Christmas Eve to spend a week with us here in our home. We remembered Scott this season and with Christmas to remind us of our savior Jesus, born on this day to indeed save us, may we be comforted by thoughts of His saving power. Scott is deeply missed and he is carried closely and always in our hearts.

I hope you check back once in a while and I resolve to continue blogging! I won't promise a daily blog, but hopefully weekly to share the goings-on in the Hartsell home. Anna and Emily always give us something to talk about. :) Happy New Year to all my readers, wishing you reasonable resolutions and much happiness. XO