It's Official. I'm Nervous!

The anxious feelings have really set in for me. Bringing Baby #2 home in less than 20 weeks has started to give me palpitations! It is such a different feeling this time. With Anna, we of course were nervous about having a newborn. But I think for first time parents, there is a gift of unpreparedness and of not really knowing what is coming with that little, warm swaddled bundle of joy. Because if new parents knew just what was coming their way....I don't think we would have children (just kidding)! This time...heck...our lives are so changed by Anna - the new priorities, the tight budget, the lack of social life, the dirty diapers - those things don't so much concern me. We're used to that already!

I guess this time it's all the other unknowns. How will Anna do? What will she think? Will I be able to successfully parent two little children? What if I go into labor at 2am, who will watch Anna? How will Anna do while I am in the hospital with the baby? How will I do in the hospital with the baby and without Anna? Will Anna hate when the baby cries? Will the baby keep Anna awake at night? Will the new baby cry at night like Anna did (eeeeeeekk!!!) Will Anna be out of the crib and settled into the toddler bed? Will it ever be spring so I can have a garage sale to move all of our unwanted stuff that is cluttering our garage and basement? Will the baby's new nursery be ready? Do I still like the crib set that I bought a while ago for the baby? What are we going to name this child? Where on earth are we going to put the baby bottles? I need to do some serious cupboard organizing. When will I find time to do that? And the questions go on and on .... hence the palpitations.

I have a long list of to-do's. It's a tad overwhelming lately. Okay, totally overwhelming at moments. Brent likes to makes lists. So, we are going to make a list of all that needs to be done and start checking things off little by little. Some of my worries, however, are not "list-able" and really aren't things I can plan for. Like, how will Anna do with the new baby and having less of my attention. Only time will tell. And I'll worry about it until the moment the baby is here and I can answer that question. I just need to turn my worry into trust and to know that this is all in the plan for us. To add a new little life to our family. A brother or a sister for Anna, a little buddy and friend for her to grow up with. There is no better gift than a sibling.

I have been looking back at pictures of Anna when she was a newborn. To think, I will have one of these little loves again soon....what is to be afraid of?

Half Way There

I am 20 weeks along now. Half way there!

I can feel the baby move several times a day. It's such a strange and wonderful feeling. To know that there is a little tiny baby in there is just amazing.

Brent and I are searching the baby books for names. We have a couple favorites, but we're still waiting to come up with the perfect name for this new little baby.

I am starting to feel a little unprepared. There seems like a lot to do before the baby arrives! Starting with organizing and getting the baby's room ready. Which also involves possibly moving Anna into a big girl toddler bed and moving the crib over for the baby. But I certainly don't want to rush Anna. She loves her crib and is so happy in her little space. Time will tell, but eeek! We're already at 2o weeks!

Interested in any of my pregnancy blues? I'm pretty darn close to miserable at night already. My hips ache, my nose is stuffy, and I am already suffering heart burn. And right at this moment I could really go for a bowl of Corn Flakes. But we only have Rice Krispies, Life, or Cherrios in the house!

I looked back at my blog to see what I was up to at 20 weeks with Anna. We were signing papers to buy our first home here in Grosse Pointe and I was falling in love with the idea of moving back to Michigan. And here we are today, happy and snug in our home. Just waiting for this new little baby...wondering and worrying...and knowing how much our lives will change in just another short 20 weeks!

Artist at Work

Anna had fun with finger paints this evening after dinner. A little artist at work!

Oh Baby!

Today we had an ultrasound appointment for the baby! A sneak peek at this tiny little one at 19 weeks. My midwife said it is a picture perfect ultrasound. Everything looks normal and healthy. We are so happy!

A profile view. See the little nose?

Two little hands.

Two little legs. It may be hard to see, but the legs are crossed at the ankles. Anna sits this way sometimes when she reads books!

A little hand up by the face.

The baby was very active during the ultrasound today. I am feeling the baby move a lot during the day and he or she really put on a good show for Brent and me today! Little moving arms waving hello to Mommy and Daddy. The little legs were crossed at the ankles, like the baby was just cozy and relaxing. We did not find out if the baby is a boy or a girl. We will have another surprise, just like we did with Anna.

What a difference just a few weeks makes in the growth of the baby. My first ultrasound at 7 weeks (see the picture a few posts back) compared to today's ultrasound is just amazing. Today the baby looks like a baby! It makes it more real to see the baby in there with its little arms moving and heart beating. It is wonderful to think....that is our baby! Now we dream about who you are. Maybe a little boy? Or maybe another little girl? Either way, a child made by us. And a brother or a sister for our Anna. Love multiplies!

Christmas & New Year 2011

The Hartsell Home was happy and busy for the holidays this year. Things are starting to wind down now and we are getting back to the normal routine. Aside from the Christmas tree that is still standing and all the decorations on the selves that are begging to be put away again until next year. Anna, however, will miss the Christmas tree dearly when it is gone. So, it still stands for a little while longer. We really did have a lovely holiday. My parents arrived on Christmas Eve and we enjoyed a week of togetherness, great food, new books and toys for Anna, Skype with my in-laws in Florida, and late night games and drinks (non-alcoholic for me!).

The only thing missing this Christmas was my brother. Scott actually didn't really like Christmas. He was a self-proclaimed Grinch and even had a t-shirt one year that said so. But, that doesn't make it any easier for us. I remember so fondly my own childhood Christmases on Parkovash Avenue, waking up in the morning to stockings and new snow sleds. And I would always check Scott's room first to see if he was awake before heading to the living room to check out what Santa brought. If he was awake, we would stay in his room until my parents woke up. I wish I could go back and re-live those moments. This Christmas we remembered Scott with memories, some stories, and some words left unsaid. My dear friend Abby gave me a crystal angel ornament this year and it hangs on the tree for Scott.

Christmas is certainly special for Anna. She enjoyed every bit of Christmas and all its trimmings.

Anna on Christmas Eve.

Reading "The Night Before Christmas" with Daddy on Christmas Eve.

Picking out cookies for Santa.
And carrots for Rudolph!
So excited on Christmas morning!
Checking out her new goodies from Santa.
Christmas beauty.
All pretty and ready for Christmas mass.
More presents after church.
New books were one of her favorite gifts this year.

We rang in the New Year, here we go 2011. Come June we will have a new baby. Our little family of three will become a family of four. It is exciting and frightening all at the same time! Big sister Anna will turn 3 years old this year. What else? Maybe a little healing for my family. Maybe at least I will be shown the path to start healing because I am not sure I have even started yet. Through it all, I know that 2011 will bring blessings. The blessings of our two (two!) children. Their little smiles, amazing milestones, and simple joys. This year is sure to bring excitement and challenges for Brent and me as parents and as a couple, all while bringing us closer together. It will bring the happiness and awesomeness of sharing our children and our home with our families and loved ones. These blessings alone are enough for me to wholeheartedly give thanks and praise to our Lord Jesus for all that He graciously provides for us. And if there is more? Well, we are up for it. I think. :)